


Together

by PrincexofxFlowers



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Confessions, Getting Together, Insecurity, Introspection, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 03:25:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincexofxFlowers/pseuds/PrincexofxFlowers
Summary: He’d tried so hard to be of some help, to make sure Kuro didn’t regret making a contract with him- to be worthy of him.Because he loved him. And simply speaking, you should help the ones you love.Mahiru didn’t want to talk about that. How could he burden Kuro with his feelings as well as his safety?---Mahiru's been trying to prove himself to Kuro. Kuro's been trying to prove himself to Mahiru. Emotions are talked about.





	Together

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one of those fics I did for that Iron fic competition where you're given a prompt and one hour to do something with it. The prompt was "Right of Passage" and I had a really hard time with it. I only got 2 pages written (6 pages in my handwriting) but it was rushed and unfinished. Needless to say I did not win lol. 
> 
> That was back in March which was pretty recently after I watched Servamp for the first time. I found it the other day and decided to fix it up and finish it but now it's been months since I've actually watched the show and I'm not sure about the characterization since I obviously added a lot of things and fleshed out what I had (now it's 6 pages typed). This is technically the second Servamp fic I've written but I haven't finished the first one yet? I started it in January? I'm a mess of WIPs?? 
> 
> Anyway if it seems really ooc that's because it probably is.

Kuro was acting weird. It was an undeniable fact, and yet Mahiru had let it go on for weeks. Kuro obviously wasn’t going to change it on his own and Mahiru? Well... Mahiru had been avoiding thinking about it for as long as he could because thinking about it would mean he’d have to talk about it and, for the first time in his life, the simple route was not one he wanted to take.

Talking about it really would be the simplest way to solve the problem- he knew that- but it would also mean owning up to things he didn’t feel ready for yet. For once he wanted to take a page out of his servamp’s book and just ‘can’t deal’ his problems away.

He’d been so proud of himself lately. He’d been making real progress in training- learning how to fight and defend himself. He’d thought Kuro would be proud of him too, or at the very least, relieved that he’d have one less thing to worry about when facing off against their enemies.

Instead the amount of self-sacrificial behavior had increased. Kuro had gone out of his way to save Mahiru countless times in the past but he had always trusted Mahiru when he said he could handle a fight on his own.

Now it was like Kuro barely thought Mahiru would survive rolling out of bed unexpectedly. He’d injured himself to the point of needing to drink more blood than usual an alarming number of times in recent weeks- all in the name of keeping his eve safe. It was a problem that Mahiru was more than willing to help with but Kuro was hard pressed to ask, always putting it off as long as he could before begrudgingly accepting Mahiru’s offered arm and even then only after a day of pretending nothing was wrong until Mahiru called him out on it.

Mahiru had scolded him for it once and it turned into quite the argument.

“Too troublesome. I’d rather pass out than drink more of your blood.”

It honestly felt like a physical blow to his stomach. It hurt probably as much as taking the injury himself would have.

Stunned, Mahiru had bit out that if Kuro didn’t heal quickly then they were both weakened and at risk should another attack occur. “You’re leaving us vulnerable!” He spat.

Kuro recoiled and Mahiru couldn’t even bring himself to feel bad for how harsh he sounded, especially when it got Kuro to accept help. 

He drank Mahiru’s blood and Mahiru retreated to his room and cried.

They hadn’t talked about it since.

It hurt.

Being so reliant on Kuro and yet so useless to him in return hurt. 

Being rejected for the only thing that he could help him with hurt.

He’d tried so hard to be of some help, to make sure Kuro didn’t regret making a contract with him- to be worthy of him.

Because he loved him. And simply speaking, you should help the ones you love.

Mahiru didn’t want to talk about that. How could he burden Kuro with his feelings as well as his safety?

He trudged through the living room towards the kitchen, thinking of what he had in the fridge and what to cook for dinner.

Kuro looked up from his video game and pulled up the menu to save and pause it. “Don’t worry about dinner tonight, I’ll do it.”

Mahiru froze, gaping at him. “You’ll what?”

Kuro almost succeeded in not looking embarrassed. “I said I’ll make dinner.”

“You never cook.”

“Yeah well maybe I want to now.”

“Why?” Mahiru couldn’t help the note of incredulity that came out with the question.

“Because you already do a lot,” Kuro shrugged. “You deserve a break.”

Mahiru stared and tried not to let the casual statement get to him but he could feel the wall he’d been shoving everything back behind crumbling, breaking under the weight of his self-doubt and guilt. “I don’t do anything!”

“What? You do everything. You clean and cook and-”

“Those are all things I did before I met you! They’re the only things you let me do!”

“What do you mean ‘let?’” Kuro looked uncomfortable but Mahiru was done letting things go on as they were.

“I mean as soon as anything gets dangerous you shut me out! Why don’t you let me help you? You don’t have to do this alone, Kuro, so why do you keep trying to? What are you trying to prove?!”

“I’m not trying to prove anything.”

“Yes you are! You weren’t like this before so what changed?!”

“Like what?” Mahiru caught the edge of irritation lurking under Kuro’s tone but he’d learned that sometimes the only thing to do with Kuro was keep pushing.

So push he did.

“Overprotective!”

“You want me to stop protecting you?”

“I want you to stop getting hurt protecting me from things we both know I can handle! It has to stop, Kuro! It’s going to get you really hurt one of these days and I-”

“I can handle a lot more than you can. A lot more than you think I can too. It’s better for everyone if I take the brunt of the attacks.”

“What are you hoping to prove with that mentality?!”

“That I’m worthy of you!” Kuro finally exploded.

The air in the room went tense- heavy and oppressive in a way that had chills break out across Mahiru’s skin. He was silent for a moment, trying to get the feeling of the floor back beneath his feet instead of the freewheeling fall he felt like he’d been thrown into. “What?” he managed after a moment, quiet and small.

“Every part of my life has been a right of passage, Mahiru- all of it! Becoming a servamp, killing my master, making a contract with you- I’ve had to prove my worth for everything! So why would-” Kuro cut himself off and took a deep breath- his tirade effectively halted and he looked away, staring resolutely at the curtains blocking out the sun and preventing him from turning into a cat. “Why would loving you be any different?”

Kuro wouldn’t look at him after that. He wouldn’t look at him and he wouldn’t say anything and Mahiru, realizing the ball was squarely in his court, could only manage to ask “Why wouldn’t it?”

Kuro’s gaze flashed back to him briefly, looking a mix of irritated and desperate; desperate for Mahiru to just understand so he wouldn’t have to outright say it and irritated because he knew he’d make him talk about it anyway. After a moment Mahiru could see him come to some form of resolution, his jaw clenching as he stared at the curtains still. 

“You are so good Mahiru,” he said finally. “You have so much good inside you and you just give it away. Blindly. People you don’t know, people you should hate, people who’ve tried to kill you… you look at them all the same way. Like they’re people you can help, people you can fix. I’m not like that. I’ve done a lot of bad things- really bad things. I’ve run away from problems- from people- from things that I could fix so many times, and tried to run away even more. If I hadn’t met you I’d still be running. And I know that you’re good enough to forgive me for those times. I know you have. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around sometimes. The first time you asked for help, when your friends’ lives were in danger, I said we should run. I said I wouldn’t help. You forgave me for that.”

“But you did help. You didn’t run.”

“But I wanted to.” Kuro looked at him. “And you forgave me. How can I measure up to that? How could I hope to deserve calling you my partner, let alone anything else, when you have this boundless need to help people, to save them, and I’m… I never planned on telling you because I knew I’d never be able to deserve you but I’d hoped… I guess I was trying to tell myself that if I managed to be better then it would be okay to just… feel that way. I’d be able to justify it if I could prove that…”

It was quiet for a long moment

And then Mahiru spoke.

“You don’t have to prove yourself to me, Kuro… You never have. Not to be my partner and certainly not to love me.” Mahiru took a deep breath and clenched his fists by his sides. “Because if all we ever do is try to deserve each other then we’ll never get anywhere…”

Kuro’s eyebrows scrunched together and Mahiru could see him trying to make sense of what he’d just said.

“All we ever…? What do- Do you-?”

Mahiru nodded and Kuro’s shoulders sagged suddenly as a sigh wooshed out of him.

“You think you don’t deserve me?” His voice was shaking, like he couldn’t fathom someone thinking that highly of him; like he was something to deserve. “Mahiru you’ve saved me so many times-”

“And you’ve saved me,” Mahiru interrupted. “More times than I can count. I feel like I can never repay you for everything you’ve done for me.”

“For all the problems I’ve dragged you into?”

“You know I’m the one doing the dragging. And you’ve supported me the whole way. You’ve been so strong and faced so many things that were painful for you. You’ve kept me safe through everything and been right there any time I needed you. Honestly the idea that you’ve been trying to ‘deserve’ me is a little baffling when I’m the one who causes you so much trouble. I feel like I can’t do anything to help you. You won’t let me fight, you refuse my blood. I thought if I got stronger then I’d… If we’re talking about deserving then I’m the one who has a lot of work to do.”

“But that’s wrong!”

“You’re right. Thinking like that won’t get us anywhere. Simply put, relationships aren’t about deserving each other, no matter if they’re romantic or not. They’re about helping each other. I’ll admit I have helped you in the past, despite how useless I’ve been feeling lately, but you have to know that you’ve helped me too. That’s how we work, Kuro. Together. Just because we love each other doesn’t suddenly mean that’s any different. You don’t have to earn the right to feel the way you do.”

“You-”

“I feel like the world’s biggest hypocrite right now,” Mahiru interrupted, laughing hoarsely. “I love you, Kuro. And I’ve spent the last month trying to become someone you wouldn’t have to worry about so that I wouldn’t feel like I was burdening you with my safety as well as my emotions.”

“You love me?” Kuro asked, quietly, breathlessly.

“I do. But it took me until just now to realize how-”

“Stop talking.” Kuro stepped into Mahiru’s space and held his hands to his face, wasting no time in pressing their mouths together.

Mahiru’s hands came up to grip the sides of Kuro’s coat and he didn’t hesitate to close his eyes and kiss back. He felt warm and bubbly all the way from his head to his toes. He felt happy. He felt loved.

Kuro pulled back after a moment and Mahiru’s eyes fluttered open to find him staring at him, looking for something.

“You love me,” He said again, sounding sure this time.

Mahiru nodded. “I love you.”

Kuro smiled. It was a small thing but it was there, as obviously as the motion of his thumb stroking across Mahiru’s cheek. “I love you too.”

Mahiru grinned and brought his hands up to hold Kuro’s against his face. “Since the very beginning I’ve thought that it had to be us. Together. I’d like it to stay that way.”

Kuro huffed out something that was almost a laugh, an undeniably fond look on his face. “Me too.”

“So let me help you?”

“I’m not going to stop protecting you.”

“I’m not expecting you to,” Mahiru leaned forward and rubbed his nose against Kuro’s for a second. “But let me handle the things I can do on my own. I want to protect you too, you know.”

Kuro blushed and looked away, clearly flustered but Mahiru couldn’t tell if it was due to his actions or his words. Maybe both. “Yeah, okay.”

Mahiru grinned and pecked him on the lips, too fast for Kuro to respond to. “Thank you.” He dropped his hands down, pulling Kuro’s with him into the space between them to swing lightly.

“But leave all of the really dangerous stuff to me, okay?”

“Okay, I got it, Mr. Big Strong Vampire Man. I think you owe me dinner now if I remember right.”

“Oh. Uh…” Kuro’s eyes shifted back towards the t.v. where his game was still paused.

“Don’t even think about it. You offered. I’m accepting. No take backs. Heart to hearts do not excuse you from this.”

Kuro sighed. “You’re not going to be happy with instant ramen are you?”

“No, but this is one of those things you can ask me to help you with.”

“Will you help me make dinner?”

“I’d love to.”

And they made dinner.

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> There you have it!
> 
> I'm really not sure about the characterization but writing this has actually been really fun and it's motivated me to go watch the show again (finally. I bought it cause I loved it so much and I haven't watched it since). So maybe I'll finish that other fic after I watch it again and hopefully I'll get a better grasp of the characters.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
